[31 Jul 2004|12:34am] the village...by far the biggest disappointment in a long time. i believe the scariest part by far was suzie screaming in my ear...or what (ahem...who) she told me she was pretending i was after the movie...now thats just wrong. after august 5 i will no longer be an employee of abercrombie and fitch. finally. im burnt. haha...what else is new? in a week or so im going to visit my grandparents in what, quite possibly, is the smallest town in all of the united states...but im still excited...i love my family. i'm happy. it's a good feeling, i highly recommend it. 2 grindin| wanna dance?

[25 Jul 2004|01:36pm] [ mood | content ] so friday was my very first gambling experience...matt, fahoe, and i went to pauma's and me & fahoe turned $8 into $26 on the roulette table (with a little help from matt and...uhh...fahoe's "mistake")...yay for gambling! i'm addicted. summer's been treating me well. i've come to the realization that i am so ready for college...i don't know...i'm gonna miss being comfortable with everything...and knowing everyone...then again not knowing everyone and having so many new opportunities and experiences is the part im most looking forward to. that and the fact that i'm gonna be able to do whatever i want without other people's judgements. yay for new things... boo to work. i don't think i'm cut out to be and employee. i'm just gonna make all my money gambling. haha. i'm scared. i don't like this feeling. ahhh. suzie, i apologize...i, too am beach deprived. i am turning back into the extremely white girl who takes over my body every winter...i promise that tuesday, from sunrise to sunset, i am dedicating myself to you, the beach, and a bottle of tanning oil...skin cancer, here we come! (and if a certain someone with dreadlocks happens to be there, too...well, what can i say, we'll have something to entertain us...hehehe) peace out. wanna dance?

[14 Jul 2004|02:32pm] who has a schedule in college in which classes dont begin until 11:00 three days a week, and 12:30 the other 2? yes, that would be me. yay for sleeping in EVERY day! had a great time last night. hooray for my first hooka bar experience (well, at least one that lasted more than like 20 minutes), for catching up with old friends, for meeting new chill people, and for tivo, which i discovered is the coolest thing ever! i wanna go somewhere. not that theres anything wrong with summer being a good time to chill and relax, but i think i need to do something exciting...go somewhere i havent before. anyone got any ideas? must get back to i love the 90's...peace out. 5 grindin| wanna dance?

[10 Jul 2004|01:50pm] [ mood | tired ] grr...i have work...i hate call ins...you get all excited like maybe you dont have to go and then you do...grrrrr. i got some new shoes...and they kick ass. yesterday i discovered that its really sad to go somewhere where everyone is richer than you. feeling poor sucks. although im a little sleep deprived, and i apologize to those i've neglected, i have to say this week has been nothing short of wonderful. time for my SECOND shift of the day...grr. 1 grindin| wanna dance?

[05 Jul 2004|01:53pm] [ mood | hot ] fucking sunburn. i hurt. 1 grindin| wanna dance?

[30 Jun 2004|01:51pm] [ mood | anxious ] havent updated in like forever...not too much to say i guess. had college orientation this week...its crazy that thats gonna be my home in a few months...kinda scared. was gonna post pictures...but i cant figure it out...someone help me! summer's been good...not too exciting...but chill. working alot...my attempts at quitting at least one job have failed. so i give up. i want to dance again...like i really want to dance again...i miss it. time to go do something more productive than sitting on my ass...peace. 3 grindin| wanna dance?

[15 Jun 2004|09:17am] [ mood | tired ] why am i so hard on myself? why am i not better so that i dont have to be so hard on myself? grr... although im a little late since all the graduation posts have pretty much passed, a quick thank you to every one of you who made my four years so great. even if it was just a smile in the hallway when i was having a bad day, though you probably dont know it, you will be greatly missed. and thank you to the blockbuster guy who let me trade my movie, i cant believe i almost payed $4 for texas chainsaw, which by the way i DESPISE. im sick. 2 grindin| wanna dance?

[03 Jun 2004|03:04pm] i was all ready to bitch about the shitty day im having, but then i checked my email and my daddy sent me this. so i shut up. If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won't survive the week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world. If you attend a religious meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back,a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, especially in the United States. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not. If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all. wanna dance?

these are a few of my favorite things... [01 Jun 2004|06:10pm] - going to bed knowing i can get up (or not) whenever i want the next morning - sunday dinners at suzie's - taking a shower after being at the beach all day - cute skirts and sunglasses - oc parties with all ryans friends - smoothies, fruit snacks, animal crackers, wheat thins, chocolate chip cookies...basically any food containing sugar - watching nick gas and getting my ass kicked at nba street - surprises (good ones anyways) - knowing i have NOTHING i have to do all day - clocking out when works over - new clothes - watching 356 and reading people while i make noodles and butter - yearbooks - the last bell of the last period on the last day of school...6 more days!! just to name a few... 1 grindin| wanna dance?

[25 May 2004|09:44pm] [ mood | nostalgic ] aww...i just got home from my last cheer banquet...i hate having to talk when you cry...cuz im like the worst crier...i get all hysterical and my voice gets really ugly...gross. but i honestly love those girls so much...their like my sisters...some of the best memories of my life for sure. so my job(s) decide to give me hours for once....10 hours in a row on saturday....ahhh! im gonna die. yay for happy memories and for 9 more days of actual school...i cant wait. wanna dance?

[23 May 2004|08:24pm] [ mood | frustrated ] i can't take it anymore. i just don't understand. 2 grindin| wanna dance?

[21 May 2004|07:46pm] [ mood | annoyed ] grr...i dont know why i let stuff get to me. i wish i was one of those people who dont let what other people think/do bother them...but if i said that id be lying. grr...stupid people who make me sad. 2 grindin| wanna dance?

[19 May 2004|10:26pm] [ mood | blah ] its strange how relationships between people work. its all kinda random really...cuz think about it...i mean, theres obviously certain personalities that you mix well with, but what really determines the people you become close with? basically where you are and when youre there. i was thinking about it, and im going to be living with 9 other random people in a few months...and chances are, ill become close with at least a couple of them...and who's determining who they are? the ucsd housing system. its just wierd how little if no control we have over what small group of people out of the 6 billion in the world that we develop relationships with. whatever, just some random thoughts. its rare and wonderful to find someone you can talk to maybe once a month and they can completely understand you...someone who you can honestly tell ANYTHING to, and they understand. thanks for being there. fuck this, im tired of it. 14 days...crazy. wanna dance?

[18 May 2004|09:44pm] joey says dont buy gas tomorrow...so listen to him. wanna dance?

[11 May 2004|08:45pm] [ mood | content ] ooo...yay...prom is only 4 days away...im excited. AP test 2 days away...not so excited about that one. suzie was meant to be in showcats...i was meant to be an artist. we missed our callings. 2 grindin| wanna dance?

[08 May 2004|05:25pm] [ mood | peaceful ] hmm...good week, good beginning of the weekend...(mostly)... i am so proud of myself, mothers day present bought and wrapped by 2pm the day before. there is something about a sunny day that just makes me so happy. it's like you can't be sad, its not allowed. i think im crazy...but ive accepted it so its okay. at least...i hope it's all okay... 2 grindin| wanna dance?

[01 May 2004|03:58pm] [ mood | lucky ] some things are just plain wonderful. 3 grindin| wanna dance?

[29 Apr 2004|11:49pm] [ mood | content ] today i ate an entire can of torengos. honestly the best food ever made. AND i got them for less than a dollar because the lady at 7-11 was too lazy to go look at the price, so she guessed. haha, lazy bitch. actually come to think of it, i had a pretty good day. i think it was partly due to the fact that i started and ended my day with the people who make me happiest. (and spent some time in the middle with the other people who make me happiest) tomorrow school starts at 7:30. now that is just ridiculous. why, after all these wonderful 9:30/9:00 days cant we just have friday too?? thats just plain mean. grrrr. some people are just plain stupid. wanna dance?

[27 Apr 2004|10:18pm] [ mood | annoyed ] fuck bad grades and bitchy managers. grrr. 1 grindin| wanna dance?

[26 Apr 2004|11:13pm] [ mood | discontent ] i was reading jess's live journal about insecurities and i was gonna just leave a comment but then i realized it would be like a page long, so i decided just to be a biter and steal her topic. cuz let me tell you...insecurites do fucking suck. and you know what's worse...when finally they get to you so bad that you decide to do something about it...or know you could/should...but for whatever reason or lack of willpower you don't. and youre like ughhhhh cuz if only you would just do something you'd save yourself so much anguish over this one thing...but you dont...and you can only be mad at yourself. i guess everyone has them...its crazy cuz probably no one else notices them but the person with them swears that everyone is focusing on them. but still...being the perfectionist i am i sure as hell have more than my share...grrrr. what's even worse is when my biggest insecurity is the fact that i have insecurities...what like i should be some superhuman whos confident about everything...pshh...please. wow...i just took a whole paragraph completely overanalyzing this. god...im so gay. haha...whatever...time for bed. peace. wanna dance?

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