Take My Breath Away...

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 07:34:27 GMT

the village...by far the biggest disappointment in a long time. i believe the scariest part by far was suzie screaming in my ear...or what (ahem...who) she told me she was pretending i was after the movie...now thats just wrong.

after august 5 i will no longer be an employee of abercrombie and fitch. finally.

im burnt. haha...what else is new?

in a week or so im going to visit my grandparents in what, quite possibly, is the smallest town in all of the united states...but im still excited...i love my family.

i'm happy. it's a good feeling, i highly recommend it.

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 20:47:55 GMT

so friday was my very first gambling experience...matt, fahoe, and i went to pauma's and me & fahoe turned $8 into $26 on the roulette table (with a little help from matt and...uhh...fahoe's "mistake")...yay for gambling! i'm addicted.

summer's been treating me well. i've come to the realization that i am so ready for college...i don't know...i'm gonna miss being comfortable with everything...and knowing everyone...then again not knowing everyone and having so many new opportunities and experiences is the part im most looking forward to. that and the fact that i'm gonna be able to do whatever i want without other people's judgements. yay for new things...

boo to work. i don't think i'm cut out to be and employee. i'm just gonna make all my money gambling. haha.

i'm scared. i don't like this feeling. ahhh.

suzie, i apologize...i, too am beach deprived. i am turning back into the extremely white girl who takes over my body every winter...i promise that tuesday, from sunrise to sunset, i am dedicating myself to you, the beach, and a bottle of tanning oil...skin cancer, here we come! (and if a certain someone with dreadlocks happens to be there, too...well, what can i say, we'll have something to entertain us...hehehe)

peace out.

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 21:41:31 GMT

who has a schedule in college in which classes dont begin until 11:00 three days a week, and 12:30 the other 2? yes, that would be me. yay for sleeping in EVERY day!

had a great time last night. hooray for my first hooka bar experience (well, at least one that lasted more than like 20 minutes), for catching up with old friends, for meeting new chill people, and for tivo, which i discovered is the coolest thing ever!

i wanna go somewhere. not that theres anything wrong with summer being a good time to chill and relax, but i think i need to do something exciting...go somewhere i havent before. anyone got any ideas?

must get back to i love the 90's...peace out.

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 21:06:40 GMT

grr...i have work...i hate call ins...you get all excited like maybe you dont have to go and then you do...grrrrr.

i got some new shoes...and they kick ass.

yesterday i discovered that its really sad to go somewhere where everyone is richer than you. feeling poor sucks.

although im a little sleep deprived, and i apologize to those i've neglected, i have to say this week has been nothing short of wonderful.

time for my SECOND shift of the day...grr.

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 20:54:00 GMT

fucking sunburn.
i hurt.

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 20:55:29 GMT

havent updated in like forever...not too much to say i guess.

had college orientation this week...its crazy that thats gonna be my home in a few months...kinda scared. was gonna post pictures...but i cant figure it out...someone help me!

summer's been good...not too exciting...but chill. working alot...my attempts at quitting at least one job have failed. so i give up.

i want to dance again...like i really want to dance again...i miss it.

time to go do something more productive than sitting on my ass...peace.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 16:24:08 GMT

why am i so hard on myself? why am i not better so that i dont have to be so hard on myself? grr...

although im a little late since all the graduation posts have pretty much passed, a quick thank you to every one of you who made my four years so great. even if it was just a smile in the hallway when i was having a bad day, though you probably dont know it, you will be greatly missed.

and thank you to the blockbuster guy who let me trade my movie, i cant believe i almost payed $4 for texas chainsaw, which by the way i DESPISE.

im sick.

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 22:06:32 GMT

i was all ready to bitch about the shitty day im having, but then i checked my email and my daddy sent me this. so i shut up.

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you attend a religious meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back,a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare, especially in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.

these are a few of my favorite things...

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 01:29:15 GMT

- going to bed knowing i can get up (or not) whenever i want the next morning
- sunday dinners at suzie's
- taking a shower after being at the beach all day
- cute skirts and sunglasses
- oc parties with all ryans friends
- smoothies, fruit snacks, animal crackers, wheat thins, chocolate chip cookies...basically any food containing sugar
- watching nick gas and getting my ass kicked at nba street
- surprises (good ones anyways)
- knowing i have NOTHING i have to do all day
- clocking out when works over
- new clothes
- watching 356 and reading people while i make noodles and butter
- yearbooks
- the last bell of the last period on the last day of school...6 more days!!

just to name a few...

Wed, 26 May 2004 04:52:53 GMT

aww...i just got home from my last cheer banquet...i hate having to talk when you cry...cuz im like the worst crier...i get all hysterical and my voice gets really ugly...gross.

but i honestly love those girls so much...their like my sisters...some of the best memories of my life for sure.

so my job(s) decide to give me hours for once....10 hours in a row on saturday....ahhh! im gonna die.

yay for happy memories and for 9 more days of actual school...i cant wait.

Mon, 24 May 2004 03:24:52 GMT

i can't take it anymore.
i just don't understand.

Sat, 22 May 2004 02:48:56 GMT

grr...i dont know why i let stuff get to me. i wish i was one of those people who dont let what other people think/do bother them...but if i said that id be lying.
grr...stupid people who make me sad.

Thu, 20 May 2004 05:35:38 GMT

its strange how relationships between people work. its all kinda random really...cuz think about it...i mean, theres obviously certain personalities that you mix well with, but what really determines the people you become close with? basically where you are and when youre there. i was thinking about it, and im going to be living with 9 other random people in a few months...and chances are, ill become close with at least a couple of them...and who's determining who they are? the ucsd housing system. its just wierd how little if no control we have over what small group of people out of the 6 billion in the world that we develop relationships with. whatever, just some random thoughts.

its rare and wonderful to find someone you can talk to maybe once a month and they can completely understand you...someone who you can honestly tell ANYTHING to, and they understand. thanks for being there.

fuck this, im tired of it.

14 days...crazy.

Wed, 19 May 2004 05:01:14 GMT

joey says dont buy gas tomorrow...so listen to him.

Wed, 12 May 2004 03:52:28 GMT

ooo...yay...prom is only 4 days away...im excited.

AP test 2 days away...not so excited about that one.

suzie was meant to be in showcats...i was meant to be an artist. we missed our callings.

Sun, 09 May 2004 00:29:29 GMT

hmm...good week, good beginning of the weekend...(mostly)...

i am so proud of myself, mothers day present bought and wrapped by 2pm the day before.

there is something about a sunny day that just makes me so happy. it's like you can't be sad, its not allowed.

i think im crazy...but ive accepted it so its okay.

at least...i hope it's all okay...

Sat, 01 May 2004 22:59:07 GMT

some things are just plain wonderful.

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 07:01:51 GMT

today i ate an entire can of torengos. honestly the best food ever made. AND i got them for less than a dollar because the lady at 7-11 was too lazy to go look at the price, so she guessed. haha, lazy bitch.

actually come to think of it, i had a pretty good day. i think it was partly due to the fact that i started and ended my day with the people who make me happiest. (and spent some time in the middle with the other people who make me happiest)

tomorrow school starts at 7:30. now that is just ridiculous. why, after all these wonderful 9:30/9:00 days cant we just have friday too?? thats just plain mean. grrrr.

some people are just plain stupid.

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 05:21:27 GMT

fuck bad grades and bitchy managers. grrr.

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 06:20:24 GMT

i was reading jess's live journal about insecurities and i was gonna just leave a comment but then i realized it would be like a page long, so i decided just to be a biter and steal her topic.

cuz let me tell you...insecurites do fucking suck. and you know what's worse...when finally they get to you so bad that you decide to do something about it...or know you could/should...but for whatever reason or lack of willpower you don't. and youre like ughhhhh cuz if only you would just do something you'd save yourself so much anguish over this one thing...but you dont...and you can only be mad at yourself. i guess everyone has them...its crazy cuz probably no one else notices them but the person with them swears that everyone is focusing on them. but still...being the perfectionist i am i sure as hell have more than my share...grrrr. what's even worse is when my biggest insecurity is the fact that i have insecurities...what like i should be some superhuman whos confident about everything...pshh...please.

wow...i just took a whole paragraph completely overanalyzing this.
god...im so gay.

haha...whatever...time for bed.
peace.

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 17:57:37 GMT

i dont know...i guess i just didn't think it would make me that sad...
i think a lot of the time you don't realize just how happy something makes you until it's gone...

but something makes me feel better...and then i realize how lucky i really am.

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 05:04:09 GMT

aww...today was my very last first dance show.

i love suzie, she is honestly the greatest.

i STILL need a prom dress...i got one...but its just not good enough...so its going back.

thats all, for today.

im tired.

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 01:24:53 GMT

i was gonna make this post about how im all stressing out...the fact that my dance show is in 2 DAYS...and to say i even know my dances would be a flat out lie...trying to coordinate 2 jobs when I barely have time for one...squeezing in homework and AP test studying between all this...never mind college decisions, scholarship apps, etc.

but something that i found out today made me change my mind. it's unbelievable how you can get so caught up in your own life and your petty problems that seem soooo important to you...until someone tells you their problems...and your like holy shit, im complaining about absolutely nothing. i've always been quick to defend people who make drama out of little things...i mean hello? thats what being in high school's all about, but sometimes it takes something you would never, ever expect to hear from one of your close friends to make you take a step back and look at what's really important, and to realize just how lucky you really are.

so yeah, i have like a million things to do in a day or two...but you know what? i could completely blow off every single one of them and have my life still be absolutely fine...so instead of complaining about them...im going to take a second to be thankful for everything i have. i have a family who loves and supports me, amazing friends, the greatest boyfriend, and pretty much a wonderful life in general that gives me everything i could ever need. im not trying to be all look at my great life, i just think that sometimes we forget to just appreciate all the good things that we do have, and take for granted. so im trying to remember that more.

just some thoughts.

Sun, 18 Apr 2004 03:42:05 GMT

me and suzie are just sitting, talking, and stressing out about life in general. we're being all annoying chick-like and sad.

our cheer coach is a klepto...the bitch stole all our money...i always thought she was a bit shady.

I NEED A PROM DRESS.

the pipes in my house sound like dying animals...they scare me.

attention: news of the day...jessica velasquez got a cell phone. its about time.

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 04:56:29 GMT

long day.
so tired.

8 weeks is so short, but it seems soooo long.

i am not looking forward to doing my entire senior ex in ONE DAY.

i have temporarily lost my car keys...not good.

it cannot possibly only be monday.